Just working the process, but wondering when......

[cbtdad]

Yep. That is a tough thing. It's not just about the sex to me. Holding hands, cuddling, back rubs, little slap on the behind, hugs, and kissing are all things that just make me feel close and wanted. The problem is of the 5 LL's this would be number 5 for my wife. She just has never been a "touchy feely" person. She was when we first started dating of course for the first 6 months when things were "hot and heavy"
I can't even remember the last time I kissed my W. Not a peck, but actually passionately kissed her. Maybe once in the last 5 years. She finds kissing gross. She cringes when people try to hug her.
I will say that when things were really good she was at least trying. That's why I know I have to be patient with this. Because unfortunately my verbal abusive and controlling ways really shut her down from me.
This is why I am willing to take the first steps. But at some point for us to have a happy marriage she is going to have to compromise on some things as well or we will never work.
And I have fully accepted that that may be the case, but will try everything before I just walk away