Thanks Everyone for hanging in there with me. You're right Karen, I will let you all know next time I'm going on hiatus. Originally I though it was only going to be a week max.

I have backed down from filing myself, at least for now. As long as I feel somewhat ok that I'm moving on for me and I'm still healthy, I won't do it for many of the same reasons everyone has pointed out. I'm just sick of the limbo.

I'm really sick of being emotionally frail to use one of WAW terms for herself. I've been thinking of what I can control and how I can control my feelings when and if she says somthing that hurts me. Besides a couple of simple options like

1 - leave
2 - ask her to leave
3 - talk about it/ask her not to talk about om again (last resort)
4 - try and make the meaning positive for me (but how?) I guess I can view it as her new life and I know it is over and I should move on. That is the most positive thing I can think of for now.

I'm through overanalyzing this stuff. Here is a story I got from of all people my Mom. She is sweet. I really like the ending.

Be Happy!

One day a farmer's donkey fell down into a well. The animal cried piteously for hours as the farmer tried to figure out what to do. Finally, he decided the animal was old, and the well needed to be covered up anyway; it just wasn't worth it to retrieve the donkey.

He invited all his neighbors to come over and help him. They all grabbed a shovel and began to shovel dirt into the well. At first, the donkey realized what was happening and cried horribly.

Then, to everyone's amazement he quieted down. A few shovel loads later, the farmer finally looked down the well. He was astonished at what he saw. With each shovel of dirt that hit his back, the donkey was doing something amazing. He would shake it off and take a step up.

As the farmer's neighbors continued to shovel dirt on top of the animal, he would shake it off and take a step up. Pretty soon, everyone was amazed as the donkey stepped up over the edge of the well and happily trotted off!

Life is going to shovel dirt on you, all kinds of dirt. The trick to getting out of the well is to shake it off and take a step up. Each of our troubles is a steppingstone. We can get out of the deepest wells just by not stopping, never giving up! Shake it off and take a step up.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred - Forgive.
2. Free your mind from worries - Most never happen.
3. Live simply and appreciate what you have.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less

NOW --------
Enough of that crap . . .
The donkey later came back and bit the farmer who had tried to bury him. The gash from the bite got infected, and the farmer eventually died in agony from septic shock.

MORAL FROM TODAY'S LESSON:
When you do something wrong and try to cover your ass, it always comes back to bite you.