So this weekend was quite interesting. Apparently, my W has told just about everyone that she know about our sitch, yet she still acts dumbfounded when she finds out that someone's brother's co-worker's sister-in-law's husband asked me if I'm doing okay because of the divorce... we live in a small suburban town, everyone knows because of her and her friends loud mouths...
Friday night there were several texts exchanged with my W - all initiated by her. She was in high gear to get things moving with the D, "we need to divide assets, how would you like to do it?", "what should we do about my car loan?", "do you still want to keep the house?" etc etc... I just was very vague in my responses and told her I was out with friends so couldn't talk much about it, she was fine with that and texted me a few more times through the night, mostly about the anxiety of the baby shower / diaper party the next day, telling me to call her if I need anything, and that we'd reconnect 'tomorrow or sunday' to talk about things.
On Saturday I went to a Daddy Diaper Party for a guy that I would consider a friend, but would probably never have hung out with if it wasn't for my W's best friend marrying him. I actually saw a lot of guys from that group that I do enjoy hanging out with, but don't anymore since our "connection" was each other's wives. They all wanted to exchange numbers so we can be friends and hangout without the women doing the organizing, so I found that nice, I like them, I'll make a point to set something up in the near future.
I also saw my W's bestie (the pregnant one) later that day and she gave me a big hug and started crying and said she still loves me and wanted me to know that "her group" doesn't think of me as "the bad guy"... which was weird, but also, nice to hear - considering my W ran a full blown SMEAR campaign against me for about 2 months before filing. (rally the troops much?)
All in all, Saturday was a good day, I feared throwing myself in the middle of that whole group again, I didn't want to deal with all the questioning and all that nonsense. But I really enjoyed myself, and that group was great to hang with for the day...
Then Sunday came... It was about 2PM or so and hadn't heard anything from my W, so I thought she'd probably drank too much and decided not to have any interaction with me, which was great with me. When she gets in these 'determined' moods, she tries to be this "in-charge" attitude and when I'm just super calm, chill and care-free on my end, it usually ends up in some kind of confusion based anger by her(confusion-anger... is that a thing? haha). HOWEVER, she comes in just as I'm heading out to cut the grass and immediately says, "Hey, I'm staying here tonight, is that okay?" and I said "Yeah, Sounds good!" with a smile, and off I went to cut the grass.
Not really sure what happened next, but I saw her leave about 20 minutes later, and return again about 15 minutes after that. I had just got stung by a wasp, so was upstairs washing it out. I went back downstairs on my way out to finish the lawn, and she just blew up. "This isn't working. You need to share this house. I just want to be alone and if I was alone I might not even decide to go through with the D, but you want give me any time alone to think." I just validated her best I could, and stated that this is "our house" and we both have the right to be here until this is over. I said, "we were just smiling together 30 minutes ago, now you come yelling and cussing at me, what happened?" (i know what happened, she got in a fight with her mom, like she always does, and she's tired of living there now).
This was followed with (summarized and tons and tons of cursing removed) "I'm going to get the lawyers involved, I just want to be here alone and you won't let me.", I said, "there is only 3 weeks left until we can make this final, by the time anything goes through the court/judge, it'll be over anyways." She said, "Thank God, but I still want some time in this house to myself. I don't care what I have to do. I'll call the cops and tell them you beat me."
...This was a first. A Threat to have me falsely thrown in jail for abusing her. I wasn't really sure what to do, so I just said "if that's what you want to do, then do it" and I fired up the weedeater and walked off. She left about 20 minutes later again. Then followed a group of about 6 texts, all stating how she hates me, hates her life and it's all my fault, hates living at her parents, hates this and that, and this whole things is my fault... I never responded. About an hour after that, came an "I'm sorry" text, "I'm sorry, I don't mean to talk nasty to you, I'm just so mad sometimes I can't control it. I just wanted to apologize, don't respond."
Then another hour or so later, "I hate when we fight like this (ah hem, WE fight?), anyways, "we've always had such solid friendship, I want to continue that and end this on a good note." I said, "I thought I'd been nothing but friendly and calm and kind to you this entire time, I will continue doing so." and she said "you have, and I really appreciate that because I have not return the favor". (Wow, I couldn't believe what I was hearing!) Then hours of nothing, she texted back around 10PM talking about HGTV Marathons and some other random crap, 3-4 texts later from her and I just said, "I appreciate the small talk, but I'm tired and going to bed. I'll talk to you tomorrow."
So, that's my weekend. I really still don't know what to do about the threat of calling the cops. I emailed my lawyer just for documentation purposes, and said "do not act on this, this is only for documentation."
My W is a directionless, swinging out of control wrecking ball. She has no control of what she's saying, doing, anything... I wish there was something I could do, but she's on her own here, she hates me, doesn't trust me, yada yada yada. She's going to have to snap out of this with the power within. Sorry.
