Newby here, desperate for some advice

[JRuss]

Sandi -- sorry, yes, I confused your 37 rules thread with Wonka's on validation. Trying to cram all of the information I can into my head on an expedited basis has its pitfalls. I read your rules all the time and had just been reading Wonka's and got them confused.

It seems to me that validation is best if it is an in-the-moment thing. If the moment passes, and you try to come in afterwards with after-the-fact validation, it seems like it would have to come across as forced, like you went and read your self-help book and were just trying to score points.

I had a good weekend with the kids doing Solo Dad while W was out of town. I thought about W and our R too much in the quiet moments but was for the most part able to be fully present for the kids while they were awake. W was in much better spirits when she got home. I thought she'd be getting home later and was in the process of putting sunscreen on myself and the kids to take them to the pool, so she got a good look at the results of all of the working out I've been doing. I caught her taking what seemed like a surprised peek but played it cool. Things were calm and relaxed the rest of the evening. No setbacks, at least.