Pretty quiet on the PacWestern Front, W has been out of town. Have been taking the time to think and do a lot of living for myself, saw a couple of Mariner’s games and some other relaxing stuff. Has been really helpful to pull back and “get perspective”. Apologies for not posting more, will try to catch up with you all.
Renew, no worries on being a little hypocritical. It takes a lot of looking in the mirror to figure out where one is and what is good for oneself. I’ve been trying to be true to my mind and heart, and sometimes they don’t always agree. Acting with dignity and respect as well as kindness and gentleness for myself and for others.
Karen, your insights are always very valuable to me. A lot of things I’ve been thinking about there. I can see what you are saying about the pressure and the R talk. Please understand that I get that. I also get that this is a woman that has felt unloved and ignored. Her history says flight instinct is really a cry for help, come after me type thing. Have you ladies ever done that? Looking back, it is clear this is what she wanted before. NOW it is a fine line between that and feeling pressure of R talk. Is it possible to feel both? Making reasons for if he doesn’t come after me he doesn’t love me, and if he does she feels stress and pressure? A lady friend of mine told me even if she is pissed to no end at her H and really doesn’t want him back, she would still feel loved and cherished if he came after her and might even take him back. I know it doesn’t make sense, but I’m just trusting what she said. Anyone agree?
As for the dog, I can see what you guys are saying. I even agree to some extent if it were anyone other than MS. I have been giving into her way on everything, and she abuses the power and makes up more EXCUSES and LIES. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. I needed to call it like it REALLY IS. I actually felt we gained some progress there communicating. I got past the surface bs which has been a barrier for this entire time. Monitoring for results now. Maybe it was a good thing?
Eddy, thanks for the support. I really appreciate it. I do believe I needed to regain my respect in her eyes. I did that and will not dwell on it. Was it a cheeseless tunnel? I’m monitoring for reactions. It wasn’t for me, I feel much better and I think this may have been a reality check for her and her actions. I know how you feel about the kids, sorry to hear that. Sounds like your W has thought about what it would take for you two. I’ve heard similar things, but not quite as direct. You’ve been holding out on us Eddy, that sound pretty good to me.
Wonder, good to hear from you. Thanks for the article!
Livnlearn, thanks for stopping by! I need all the insights I can get. I’ll try and visit with you soon. I’m not so sure I’m ready for a new dog. I’ll have to think about it some more.
TripleJ, you understand this with such clarity. We both do think of dog as our child, and we shouldn’t let dog be caught in the middle. I will of course do the best for this dog, show her my unconditional love for the dog, because I do care for both of them. It is the right thing to do. As you know, I have said my peace. I am monitoring for reactions.
Merrick, yes it seems to be a sensitive point between us. I guess I don’t view this as all that bad. I believe it allows her to use something else to convey how she feels. This has been so important and I view this as a HUGE STEP for her to talk about how she feels. Even if it seems rough at first, it might be getting closer to the core.
I’m a little embarrassed I’m considered the sensitive guy now. I’ve really been trying to speak her language and she is sensitive, so if I’ve gotten there I guess it is a good thing. Being sensitive isn’t easy though, I keep laying my heart out there hoping she will pick it up and take care of it.
