I'm glad you are going to seek the advice of a lawyer. Once you know what your options are, keep that info to yourself for the time being. Let your h rant and rave about what he'll say or do if he has to file. The only reason he's saying that is because if he files, he has to pay for the filing and he also doesn't want to come off looking like a bad guy and can then say "she filed".
Do whatever it takes to protect yourself and your children financially.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
