Back but for a different reason

[ClingingToHope]

Nothing came of the last interview. I thought it went well ... but I could sense they were skeptical. The lady who would have been my supervisor was likely 15 years younger.

In the meantime, I picked up more umpiring. I've done the math. I have enough to get through the summer. I'll apply to sub at a larger, more difficult district that pays more ... afterall, I'll need something solid during the day.

The communications business. I've made a proposal for a very large, long-term project. I actually went through the whole business plan steps. I liked it. I could pull it off. I also can't see why a small marketing firm in my town would pay that much to do it. I'll be shocked if it goes anywhere.

I have a meeting with another guy that likely will hire me for some work. Hopefully, I can upsell him to the point where I'm a legit business again. And I ran into a school principal I'm trying to sell a research project. He and I are basketball buddies. I'll at least get a meeting. I'll need to develop a powerpoint.

Business cards arrived in the mail today. I've gone a year without having them. Dumb. But I wasn't fully committed.

While umpiring today, I noticed a girl in the stands that looked like the daughter of my ex-girlfriend. We spent 2 1/2 years together. She broke up with me last March when it became clear my career situation wasn't going to be a quick fix.

I didn't care that much then. It had gotten really awkward between us. Our 13-year-olds just didn't like each other. I never saw it lasting long-term. I missed the sex though.

Today, seeing the girl, I actually felt a wave of sadness. It was an anchor for 30 months. It was comfortable. It was nice. Every once in a while, I thought, well, maybe, this could be it.

Today was tough. I'm tired. Really tired.