My wife walked out 3

[RSG]

Well, it was a great day. She came over, S was excited. He loved having Mommy home while he ate lunch, then we went to the pool. He was a bad little boy, but we had fun. Then she bought me take out and we ate together. She talked about the apartments she's looking at, and said she's staying with her boss for the weekend because she's lonely and misses S. She said she's lost 8 pounds (and showed me her much smaller tummy) and still can't hold down much. She's going on about how alone she feels, but is proud of the fact she's finally gone back to the gym and doing these obstacle things. (Doing something I like again) And then.....

I say something hypothetically with zero seriousness (is that a word?) about moving back in, and she says I'm never moving back in as your wife. I go from sympathetic to a glazed over face. We finish eating, go downstairs and she says why do you think I'm looking for an apt and makes this ugly face at me. I said I wasn't serious, and I don't even know if I want you back in the first place.

Things devolve from there. She asks me for help deciding about her apartment, what good cost is, etc. I say, why should I help someone who says something so ugly. She tells me to stop bullying, I say I'm not bullying. A husband helps his wife. You had an affair and have left the family. I'm not even 100% if I want you back, but being ugly doesn't help anything. She ignores and says to give S kiss. I tell her to just admit it and that the W I know would find her behavior abhorrent. I tell her I won't Facetime, text about S's day, help with apartment hunting, work with her on money or be there when she's sad if she can't even admit this. This goes on for a while, and it finally ends with her saying "I'm not a cheater." I ask, you didn't leave S and I over and over to spend time with some loser? She says no. She's sorry she gave me an ugly answer. She's not ready to answer a "loaded question."

WTF??? So I call her, and she says she's working on herself and trying to take things a day at a time. She's looking for therapy via phone, through a program at her preschool. (Via phone because it's so difficult to schedule anything without knowing S schedule AND a 9-5 job). She says happy birthday, you can text me, and I'm sorry. I tell her that before you said you had an affair and now you don't? She's not ready to discuss, but says she had fun today. We say goodbye.

Yikes what an evening. My head's in the clouds again, but I don't believe her re A I think it's semantics at best. I see glimpses of the old W in playing with S in pool, but she got out and spent 30 mins playing on phone while I did most of the work (she admitted this last part). She keeps saying S looks just like me. She feels like crap, is scared to death about moving and misses S. Oh, and she didn't say anything re divorce.

I'm not angry really. Actually the whole time I was pretty calm. I still know this isn't the W I know, she's not ready to be honest about much and I'm not ready to accept a woman that can't have a dialogue about the reasons she walked out on her family.