Sorry to interrupt your conversation, just some observations from a girl that spent more time dating than ever being in relationship.
Our BD and relationship breakdowns, send messages to us that it is the other half, in our cases men that call the shots and determine the nature of the relationships with have them. That they have all the control, in determining the level of emotional or physical intimacy, or the manner if which we engage with them.
This thinking, this belief this experience wasn't true of your relationships and it is not true of friendships or dating.
You determine the nature of any friendship or dating relationship. It's your boundaries, decisions and choices that you make the determines if you allow a man to be a friend or someone you would consider becoming more intimate with. As soon as you become more empowered and confident in your own abilities to set boundaries and set a high value of yourself, the sooner you will a attract high quality and high value people.
Remember your own power ladies.
PS MSD I like that you are taking a sociological and anthropological approach to meeting people. Being in observer mode while taking social risks, allows for experimentation, to make wrong assumptions and to not self blame when things didn't go as anticipated. This is how I approach dating. I rarely get hurt by any man, as I don't invest him until there are some pretty clear signs that he is worthy of my investment.
Boundaries ladies - for yourselves, not for them. They will save you every time.
