Anyway, the nanny quit by e-mail with no notice, and my W pretty much decompensated completely. Crying and, while not exactly ranting, talking a mile a minute (not like her, at all -- she's usually very guarded) about how unsatisfying her life is, how little joy or fun there is in it, how she feels like she's been reduced to a robotic existence just serving others, etc. She tried calling her mother to see if she could fill in today, and her mother (who couldn't help because she prior plans) apparently told her something to the effect of "I told you about my plans ____ days ago" (we actually don't commit her schedule to memory, LOL), and "Life is hard, you just have to roll with it". W then really got upset, got into it with her mother some and hung up. She came up to me and said "You've always been so amazed that I don't want to share my feelings; well, that's why-- because when I do, I end up feeling even worse". That was an issue she's cited in the past for why/how she started losing her feelings for me (I wasn't a good listener), although I know I've made huge strides in that department over the last two years by meditating, going to IC and reading a [expletive] load of self-help books.
In reading that paragraph, you easily see how she is focused on one thing........herself! Then she acts like a spoiled brat with her mother. She starts turning on you, and finally, throws in a threat. All of it is a typical pattern of a WW.
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It doesn't give me much hope that anything at all that I do is going to matter even if I somehow were to end up being the greatest DB practitioner of all times
Bingo! B/c her problem is herself. You can't fix her.
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Does anyone think it a good idea for me to send a quick e-mail to her to let her know I heard her and to validate her feelings (well, other than the ones that suggest a zeal for a divorce)?
Seriously????
Who is in charge of finding new nannies? I think that is all that matters to her right now.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
