You have nothing to fear but fear itself. Dropping the rope does scare some people. Dropping the rope doesn't mean you have totally given up. It can mean that you are just letting the situation take it's own course and allowing God to do his work w/o you trying to hold on to the situation. It means that you are going on w/your life for the time being and just leaving things be.
You will continue to discover that the world now revolves around you and the things that you do. You will discover that those things that you use to do on a certain day, no longer matter and come to realize you can do them whenever you want to. You will discover that you do not need your h to make you feel complete, but it would be nice to share things w/him and/or w/someone else.
As for the ow and divorce. It could be that he doesn't want to remarry any time soon, so he uses the excuse that he's still married and, in some cases, they will say that the spouse is refusing to give them a divorce. For whatever reason, he's not ready to divorce and marry this ow. Some do and some don't end up marrying the ow, but time will tell what your h is going to do. If you don't push the divorce, he could very well be happy w/the way things are.
So, what do you do? Start dropping the rope just a wee bit. Continue to rediscover Rouky. Put the focus on you and make yourself the center of your attention. Do things that make you happy for a change. You've come a long way in a very short time. You are start to grow and test the waters of being on your own...try not to second guess yourself. I think you are doing great! Just remember...it's one step at a time.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
