Hey Seattle, that finger doesn't seem to be hurting your typing abilities LOL! Laurie left a note for you on my thread the other day and said she'd be away for a bit but wants to know how to get to you. Guess she doesn't know your thread name. I'll post it there coz I'm gonna close mine out tonight and start a new one coz I'm long over the posting amount.
Quote: She feels tremendous guilt. I don't know if this guilt she feels is preventing W from thinking clearly about reconciliation? Is guilt always a roadblock for WAS to reconsider reconciliation? Do I need to alleviate this guilt before she considers reconciliation? Too many emotions to think clearly? Should I communicate I’ve already forgiven her, I’m not holding any resentment, I’m not holding anything over her head, and I’m not looking to extract a pound of flesh? Either in letter form, on phone, or directly face to face
I'm no expert here but I definitely believe that forgiveness is a major part of the healing and acceptance. I have told my H a lot of what you said here and mean it (not just words) but it hasn't made a difference yet. I also believe that it helps the detachment process because you have freed yourself from that guilt yourself. It is somewhat cleansing to say it to them even if they don't believe it. I TOTALLY agree that the resentment/anger they are harboring is causing the "roadblock" (if you will) from us reaching them. I know for a fact that is a MAJOR distraction in my sitch. My H hasn't forgiven me and it is supressing any feelings of love he has for me. Think about it, isn't that why we doubt ourselves sometimes? We have some type of pain that is still lingering and makes it hard for us to reach out from time to time to them?
I'm not up on your relations w/her family but I don't think it would be wise to include them in the DBing efforts. I think it would be wise to leave them out of it and not comment about your M to them at all (regardless of how close you think you may be w/them). From my personal experience, I invited many talks w/FIL and thought it would help but being from the same mold (H and FIL), I didn't really gain much support to help the effort. In some ways FIL stepped in but it wasn't a help. I think it was more of a "push" for my H to think of more stuff and get on w/his decisions. Just my insight.
Well, hope the finger feels better soon and you can get W to help you w/transportation. Take care. Tootles........
