Here are the questions we were talking about. I know a lot of this is specific to my particular R. If anyone else would like to comment please feel free.
I would also like your opinion about my asking W to pick me up from the hospital (see above).
- Given I take care of myself first, Currently my act as if is that I'm her friend and I continue to do stuff for her, should I detach a little more now before papers go any further or wait to see if papers go further before detaching and pulling away from her more?
- Given I take care of myself first, During any of this journey, do you think if I stop initiating contact it will likely make my chance of reconciliation worse given her business and OM distractions or is this just a matter of priorities?
- I would like to talk with her sister when she is here in one week. Maybe ask her to read DR and talk about my feelings and thoughts. Given what you know about each of them, do you think this would be wise or not to drawing W back? Sister may already be telling her she doesn’t agree with decision W is making but supports her in whatever W decides.
- I would also like to talk with her father about my efforts over the past 6 months, I realize my mistakes in past, I have remained committed to her, I love her, and I ask that if she wants to push papers forward that he does not assist her financially (quit enabling). I would like to tell both sister and father how I would envision the future for us if W would allow us an opportunity (good things) and how I’ve changed.
- She feels tremendous guilt. I don't know if this guilt she feels is preventing W from thinking clearly about reconciliation? Is guilt always a roadblock for WAS to reconsider reconciliation? Do I need to alleviate this guilt before she considers reconciliation? Too many emotions to think clearly? Should I communicate I’ve already forgiven her, I’m not holding any resentment, I’m not holding anything over her head, and I’m not looking to extract a pound of flesh? Either in letter form, on phone, or directly face to face?
- I’ve written a type of validation and acceptance letter, sort of a Dobson letter. If papers go further, I’m thinking of giving it as LRT? Most likely only if papers go further? Then detach more and move on?
Sorry for so many questions Laurie, I feel I may be faced with these questions soon and don’t have many chances or time left. I really appreciate your help! Thanks again!
