My wife walked out 3

[RSG]

Welp, it ain't my lucky day....

Got to the preschool, was in a good mood. Smile on my face, just felt good inside. Was looking over paperwork inside, she walked in front of me to sit down and her phone crossed my field of vision. It was HIS name. "You're so special." My blood raced. I took the pen to sign my name to a few things, My hands shook with anger. Again. THAT name. In another area related to my S. We turned everything in, and I remained calm and focused on getting S signed up, costs, etc.

Walked outside and she started talking about money. Needless to say, my good mood was in the crapper. All I needed was one thing to set me off. "I'm not paying for the tag, it was only $20!" Boom. Things escalated from there. She threatened to get a lawyer, so I said how will you pay. I just glared at her. "SLUT" rang throughout my mind. "Why are you looking at me that way." I held my tongue. Things still escalated. "Therapy costs a ton. I've been paying for it alone for an entire year." "I didn't know it was that much then!" Then I changed tact. "Maybe you would have if you didn't run away." "I didn't do anything then." "Yes you did..."

We drove away. Still pissed off. I sent a snarky text and finished it with "you're so special." "Huh" "Texting your boyfriend while we sign S up for school?!" She calls. I'm girding up, ready for a nasty fight because I know she's capable of one. During her worst wayward moments, she was extremely mean. I answer, she laughs and says it was some kid counselor at camp who's the son of a Dean. Calls me crazy and paranoid. Then I was surprised. "What about you? Being secretive about where you are? Are you dating? Are you seeing somebody?" "No." Figure if I'm in the gutter I may as well ask, and she says she's not involved with OP anymore. She says she's trying to get her, uh, "stuff" together and is trying to schedule counseling and needs to get back with them.

Suddenly the conversation gets light. I laugh at something inadvertent, and she says she may go into work late next week and meet S and I for his first day at camp. I say he'd like that. She says she's going to the gym. We say bye.

I come home, and send her a text. I apologize saying I'm working hard on my own stuff, admit that that name triggers my anger and validate that it probably does look crazy to her. Done.

Well. Good things I learned: The anger is gone. It flowed through, and I'm not angry anymore. She isn't involved with anyone. I've confirmed therapy for me is 100% necessary. She's insecure about the idea of me seeing someone. She sees therapy is necessary for her. It's obvious we need to be separated longer.

Bad things I learned: I haven't even started to delve into it in 6 weeks, but I have MASSIVE trust issues with this woman. Even if she begged me, her coming back home now would literally break us both and put us both into massive depression. Trust and forgiveness are issues 1A and 1B I need to work on in therapy. I need to SHUT THE FUDGE UP.


Cbtdad will probably figure out who I am, find my address and come slap me around. Which is ironic, because I read your 2013 threads and there are similarities. I'm reminded of your early days when you told your lady she'd never stop being a selfish biddy. I'm working so well on other aspects of myself, but the trust part of it is just lightyears away.

Anyway, I'm ready for the firing squad. Shoot away!!