Thanks for the concern everyone. Been having a couple of really hectic days at work and it is not helping with my anxiety. Also trying to get my thoughts together personally.
I wish I could take a vacation from all of this, but it is a critical time at work and a critical time for me personally. I have been trying to get an hour here or there when I can relax or do somthing for me. It has been getting me by.
The contact I have been initiating is for a couple of reasons, she has felt I was distant and wasn't loving enough before, I didn't pay enough attention to her, she prefers to run from problems rather than face them, and she is absorbed with a new business and new life. The new business is the most disturbing to me. If anyone can relate to this, it is a huge distraction and I don't believe I can let any communication bids by her to slip since she has so little time to give. Isn't the whole point of this to convey to WAS they have a warm inviting home to return to and make it as attractive as possible? I undertand she has to desire to come back, and maybe that is closing the door a little, but that has not worked in the past for me. So far there has been no response from her either in my current period of darkness so what do you think? Doesn't seem to be working unless I'm missing somthing?
Quote: The thing I'm contemplating now and maybe you can as well is, if we were both "detached" for a number of months, would my R hold out in the end? By this I mean that if we both took a "holiday" from it w/little to no contact, no emotional attachment, etc.. during a period and then one day either of us made that step forward to "re-connect" would the door still be open or would it be sealed at that point?
Yes Karen I have the same concerns. After some detachment and not seeing her for a couple of weeks (three at most) I feel she is more distant and her wall is stronger, she might have some internal concerns she doesn't express all the time (sometimes she does) and I can't tell if this is still just surface defenses and in actuality it is wearing down. She does seem to share more feelings after a long period of no R talk, do you see the same patterns?
Quote: I have read about others on the BB who have done this for periods of time and wonder HOW??? I am questioning myself to see if I would be able to handle it. I think that could be part of detachment and letting them have their "space"???? Not really looking for answers just thoughts here mostly. Maybe you see it differently but just thought I'd throw it out there.
Yes I agree it would be tough. My larger concern is that I haven't seen anyone be successful at regaining their WAS just because they detached, got a life, and went dark hoping for a miracle with no contact initiated by them. Anyone disagree?
