Sandi2's response which I'm not quoting because I don't want to have to scroll through it to read.
Not compromising your integrity. Standing strong for what you believe is right, and do not negotiate with what is wrong.
Setting boundaries and enforcing consequences if they are not honored.
Do not avoid conflict with your W. Stand up to her and show no fear.
Do not go out of your way or be self-sacrificing, to please your W (especially when she's wayward).
Let the self-confidence ooze with every fiber in your body.
Do not take on the responsibility of "making her happy".
Stop agreeing with everything she says. Learn to say, "no". Immediately address the issues you have a problem with.
Do no be defensive.
Stop trying to "explain" yourself to your W, in hopes it will stop her from getting angry at you.
Do not accept being the center of her jokes, her rudeness, or her put-downs of you. No eye-rolling, talking to you through the kids, or slamming things around to show her bad attitude. You need to have personal boundaries about these types of treatment from her (or anyone else).
Stop letting your W always run the show (being the boss). You are the man with the b@lls, so don't be afraid to take charge.
Do not show that you are seeking approval, especially her approval.
Do not meekly accept her, "Well, you'll just have to settle with ______ (fill in the blank with some attitude/behavior/action). You always have a choice. Never play the victim.
Do not make her so-called "needs" your priority while she's being disrespectful, b'tchy, manipulative, etc. Do not give more than she's giving back, until she changes her attitude/behavior.
Do not be passive! I can't say it enough......NEVER be passive-aggressive. It is sooooo unattractive.
These are good. I'm doing a good job, I think, of attacking many of these right now.
I'm taking charge in the little things. Making the decisions, letting her answer, and then offering another idea if necessary.
Saying how things are from my POV, and not trying to cater.
Not being defensive, but being confident in my choices/actions.
Not looking for approval, just being me.
Ending explanations.
Plenty to work on still obviously, but in 6-7 weeks I already see improvements.
Me: 35 W: 32 S: 4 T: 6 M: 4 Physical Separation official: 5/21 Currently: DR/DBing, Focusing on me and son
Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.
