Did Not See It

[RDS]

I invited my WAW through text for a friendly lunch for next week. She accepted and said hopefully she wouldn’t get another root canal. Last time I had a gut feeling she would cancel on me. I don’t have that feeling this time. It’s not until next Tuesday so who knows how I will feel then.

I had another session with my DB coach last night. I thought it went very well. The coach made me answer questions about our M as from my WAW’s perspective. I answered as truthfully as I could. Even though the thoughts swirled around my head the last few weeks about what she was thinking during the last four/five years of our M it was still an eye opener. It was heart wrenching to say the least and it made me feel even worse when my coach read back the responses. I really was a cold and heartless man towards her.

My homework assignment is to write an apology letter to my WAW to cover the issues I caused. I’m not to send it but read it to my coach and we will see what I need to correct before sending it her (if that is the next option).

We also covered lots of empathy and validation concerns. It cemented in my mind how vital it is to earn her trust. We also covered what I should and shouldn’t say during the lunch next week and what to do after the lunch.

It was very good session IMO.

My D and WAW texted a little last night. It was nearly two weeks since they’ve communicated. My WAW said she missed my D. My D responded, “I miss you too Mom, considering it’s been two months since I’ve seen you.” My WAW didn’t respond to that. My WAW has a tendency to do that. She clams up whenever she gets bad news. My D thinks my WAW is depressed. I didn’t dig into why she thinks that, but she has an undergraduate degree in HR and a Graduate degree in Organizational Development and a lot of her courses dealt with interpersonal relationships so I have to take her word for it. Part of me is hoping she is depressed because she is regretting leaving me, but most of me is ashamed I had a big part of making her depressed (if she really is depressed).