The begining of the rest of my new life? (3)

[Ripe]

My dear SH,
I have not felt well with myself.
I am in the process of taking some very hard decisions on what to do with my life and they might take me apart from my sons.
I have no energy so I have stopped posting.
Worse than that, I am now catching myself cursing God, Who does not help me with my sitch.
Why do I go to church and why am I a good catholic if this is what I get in return?
Does He even exist?
What use do I have for Him in my life?
F**k!!!