ugh... feeling down. Funny how it comes and goes. Haven't felt like this for a while. Every time I feel like this, my mind always starts thinking about going through with D. It's happened a few times and you can see it in my threads. Super frustrated right now.
It is weird, our anniversary came, I was fine... BD anniversary came, again I was fine, but the July 4th weekend (which was also my birthday weekend) just brought me down. I think the memories keep coming back from a year ago and they get to me.
I got super frustrated with WW this weekend. She was up here in my area for most of it but didn't stop by. We had talked about getting together Monday afternoon and she said she would let me know on Sat. Well she didn't and I didn't pursue and ended up making plans for Monday. Midday Monday she asks if I want to get dinner naturally.
I think I am pursuing too much. It is pry a 80/20 split at the moment. Maybe I need to go back to my early DB'ing days. Maybe I should re-read DR... I think I would have a different perspective now. I feel like she is on the fence. I can tell when she swings to one side or the other. Right now it seems like she is on the other side. I am just ready for this to be over. We have no children so I am not sure what the reason is to wait. ugh
