Zues, welcome to Surviving. I'm thrilled to be divorced. I was a sahm for 12 years and it's been very, very hard on he kids and on me getting back into the workforce -- and will be hard for several more years -- but it's worth the effort.
WRT support -- I receive a bit less than 1/2 of Mr. Fantastic's gross base. He makes a very large bonus so although he had arranged his paycheck such that it looked like I was taking about 80% of the net (and he complained that he'd be living on less than a gas station attendant), he has managed things just fine and now lives in a house that cost almost twice mine. I'll need every penny he pays in support to get back on my feet and support the kids through high school and college. When my youngest graduates high school in ten years I will be 100% on my own. If I get remarried -- which I'd like to do, someday -- I'll give up half my support. So one of my professional goals is to get my career sufficiently on track that I can choose remarriage without making a choice that would financially cripple me (or put me in the position of ever, ever again being dependent on a man).
All that to say -- support is important and necessary, but there's no reason for you to agree to anything that would financially cripple you. And I agree with job, cadet, and everyone else who said, court looks like your best option.
Divorce is stupid and wasteful and destructive. But I'll tell you what -- it is also liberating. I hope you get to find that out.
Welcome to the hood, and I hope we help you find your happy place.
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
