Zues thank you for you kind words on my thread. (((Zues))). I will respond over there, to your thoughts and comments, particularly about my mum, if you are interested to know.
As for the situation you find yourself in. I am so sorry for the stress of the financial situation. Fairness and justice can sometimes seem so elusive in these situations. My little social worker brain struggles with it. Like you I see the need for the fairness for issues of gender, LBW's as you call them. But sometimes it feels like the pendulum has swung ridiculously the other way.
Through the course of my personal life and professional career I have seen human beings and the use of the law manipulated to hurt and cost people significantly. The cost being people's emotional well being, financial independence and their dignity.
I know the men's groups and forum's you write about are inviting. When you mentioned reading them in May, I was very concerned and worried for you. I said nothing as I felt that it was likely a journey you have needed to take. I am so glad to read your comments today.
I have been a social worker on the recieving end of three men who have belonged to such groups. I can only say that I would have preferred removing children from a gun weilding, coked up gang member, than deal with those three father's ever again.
I know those men were in extreme pain and likely the extreme end of men/father's attracted to the kind of rhetoric that is expoused at times. They made me feel incrediably unsafe, with their anger, and gender driven sexual nature of there abuse towards me. But it was also the obsessive nature to which they were prepared to sacrifice themselves and their relationships only to prove their beliefs. I saw lives destroyed. I did not want that for you.
As for this forum, this is a safe place to land for you at any time through this journey. It is likely that because you are still here, myself and others who post to you still come back. I know you are one of the reasons that I return at least weekly to see how you are and where you are at with things.
I believe you will find this part of the forum more optimistic and a little more based in the reality of daily living. There is a sense of maturity and balance in this part of the board that is settling and calming. People share more of the everyday of their lives, with children and hopes, wishes and dreams of the future. Of course there is the reality of making co-parenting work, and the disappointments and wins of working through the divorce process and the on-going need to move through the impact of D. I believe it is a good thing to see you here. It warms my heart greatly.
I am rambling a bit, but I what I really wanted to say, is related to the journey you took to have the shared care of your children. With great consideration, and quiet determination, you moved that mountain. I know this journey feels never-ending and the pain overwhelming to you, and in my heart of hearts I wish you had more peace with it. But I also know in my heart of hearts that your financial situation will be another mountain you will move with as much grace and strength as your did the first. I will take that bet that you make this shot!!
We are here, we are your cheerleading section, we are on your team and we are never far away if you need any of us. You are much loved Zues. I wish you knew how much and my wish for the future is maybe you will open your life further for these friendships to really come to full fruition.
As always my friend I wish you much love and peace.
