Thank you Job & Esame. H came back from his parents in quite a good mood, even happy I'd say. We had some admin stuff to do together before he left for the airport, leaving for a business trip. Maybe spending time with kids finally start to make him happy again? My MIL told me he didn't talk to them much, he was sleeping till lunch. So she only told him that he needs to be careful about what he is doing & that if what he does will leave permanent damage on the kids he should not expect she'll be there for him. He apparently had tears in his eyes (also new: as emotional as he was before crisis, for quite some time now he did not show much emotions, just anger).
The two days that followed he e-mailed me & kept replying even when there was no need. But I don't read anything into it. I just don't get it how one day he is so down & 24 hour later seems happy. MIL said he's looking forward to our vacation. Me not so much. I hope I will not get used to spending time with him again & then be devastated when we come back to reality after holidays. That's what worries me. It's not that I hope or expect to rekindle something between us during our trip, absolutely not, I'm too hurt & don't want to find myself back into it so soon, but I do worry about what it will do to me. When we are spending time together, especially the 4 of us, it feels so normal, meant to be... Pity he doesn't see it that way.
I'm starting to get preoccupied with thoughts about what we need to discuss after we're back from holidays & how to approach it. I know I shouldn't think about it now but it's me: a planner! I gave him 6 months of "freedom" but after the holidays I expect he gets more involved in the life of the kids. We will also need to agree on finances. Not that there would be a problem but I just want to have an official agreement to avoid problems later. Our separation was very spontaneous, never discussed details, for me it was just a trial one, for a few months, but now it seems it's time to discuss. I know I shouldn't think about it before & during holidays as I only want to bring it up when we'll be back. Just can't help myself.
