Shelob's Lair

[Sotto]

Hi Zues, welcome to this part of the forum and I'm also not trying to save anything but myself here. I moved over here to be among people who are/have divorced and are moving forward after that - perhaps dating at some point and just living life as a newly single person. I think you are in the right place FWIW.

I'm so sorry the financials are difficult. In our settlement we looked at our total assets, each took back what we brought in and split the rest 50/50. There was big growth of assets during our M, largely due to XH's business success and a lucky property investment. I took half of that growth, which may have stung for XH. I'm at peace with that. It felt fair to me as I see us as a team during that period. I find it hard to imagine being the one who was unfaithful AND seeking to strip your spouse of most of their income. I shake my head at that.

It strikes me that your ex, purely needs a short period of time in which to get back on her feet and earn an income. It doesn't seem unreasonable to me to agree to a short period of X, which becomes Y after X period of time. I certainly don't think you should settle for something you feel to be blatantly unfair - that will rankle for such a long time if you do that. I agree that court may be a good option, given the unreasonable position she is taking. You both have the kids 50/50 and have housing needs. You have an income now and she doesn't. However, she is able to work and there is no reason why she shouldn't.

Perhaps you could give her a last opportunity to reach a reasonable settlement and failing that, progress things to court. Also, I wanted to ask - are there any local 'fathers rights' organisations who may help you with what you are facing?

I hope you manage to get things resolved soon - it will be a weight lifted for sure when you do.

In the meantime, do take care xx