Ciluzen - if at this point, you were always doing well, I would be pretty concerned about you. It would probably mean you are the type of person who has bodies in your freezer.
There is some ratio of how long it takes to "move on" from d. I know you are standing so I am certainly not advising you to "move on." I am merely stating there is no way you could recover from your length marriage in 1 year. My DB coach told me that a standard ratio for reconciliation post MLC, is 1 month for every year of marriage. It all takes a tremendous amount of time. I am 20 months post BD and I still have real moments of shock that this has happened. Granted, I think I am slower than most when it comes to all this.
That said, truth be told, you are doing SO well! Really, you are!
As for all that happened on the 4th, I am sorry. That is painful. However, Bubbles is not a friend to you nor to your h. If she were a true friend she would have stepped away from this whole situation, entirely. As a married woman she had no business hanging out that much with a married man. There is nothing good that can come from that. If she had a shred of dignity or class, she would have respectfully removed herself from his presence altogether.
Keep going and you will meet/attract much better quality friends than her!
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
