Thankyou Job,Esame, and HaWho for stopping by. I love reading your threads and watching your journeys and hearing your insights, epiphanies and stories. Thank you for your words of support and advice on my own thread.

I feel the need to be honest. I'm not always doing well. Case in point, this Sunday. I knew it was going to be tough because H was going to be at the vacation home and so were Bubbles, her family, and all of my former friends plus more that Bubbles has invited. On top of that my oldest D and her H (I encouraged this), as well. So I purposely filled up my weekend with GAL activities.

Still, it hit my like a ton of bricks (didn't expect it) to see pictures my D posted on FB. A cute pick of my H getting hugged by his former best friend who sort of disappeared after his own D. I understand his feelings and why he dropped out of "our social group", but it was nice to see that he dropped by. I always liked him and was sorry to not have been there to see him. But yeah, it drove home all I was missing by not being there. I spoke with my D later that evening and shared a few feelings with her. She did say people asked about me. I guess thats either nice or just polite...they have my freaking number. Still working on that anger...

I did text H on Monday to give him a message from the new owner of our house, then decided to give him her number and let him deal with things instead of me being the go between. I wished him a happy 4th and tried to make it sound bright and cheery. I spent the 4th with my daughter, but think I should have accepted invites from two of my friends instead. It felt more like she just had me there at her barbecue because she didn't want me to be alone, rather than just wanting me there. I didn't need pity (I know this sounds negative). I think I would have had more fun with friends. Lesson learned.

D also gave me some of H's famous tri-tip and explained that he made a big deal getting me the "good pieces". I texted him to thank him (after debating if that was pressure) and had a pleasant quick little exchange with him. Back to not texting now, though. Its almost been a year since BD!

Started classes this week. Its going to be interesting being a student again!

M-51 H-54
2D-27 and 25
M-26 yrs
Bombshell and IHS 7-29-15
He moved out 10-3-15
D filed 1-27-16
D final 10-27-16

Kindness, kindness, kindness.