When did you guys decide to go hard/tough route?

I was tough on the EA and OM but soft on everything else. Now that shes changed job and NC with OM i am not sure what my plan is.

What she says:
She says she wants to leave, asked for mc only later to admit to see if we can break up amicably then says shes grey about it as in who knows what will happen.

What she does:
Changed jobs
NC with OM
Makes me coffee and breakfast.
Transparent. Comes home on-time or tells me if she is going to be late.
Includes me in her plans except if its girls night which is very not often.
Offered to go halfsies on fixing my car.

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What do you guys see?

Sometime i feel like i want to take the tough route but i recognise that im driven a little bit by anger. What are good examples of going tough routes without ending up issuing ultimatums?

Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs
23Mar16-BD
9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss.
27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM.
14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation.
24May17-Divorced.