Have i been making mistakes too long part 8

[SH_]

tk, Your father is in my prayers as are you and your family.

As for the STBX, im more confused than ever. At the end of last week I had decided to file for D. I have an appointment tomorrow with a lawyer and I was totally ready to pull the trigger and get things moving.

Is a d what you want?

On Friday last week I spoke with W and asked her if she was sure that she wanted this. I told her that I didn't and that I wanted to work things out. She said she wasn't sure what she wanted to do. I asked for a sit down conversation and she agreed. I talked to her on Sunday and asked when she would like to talk and she said that she would when she could. I asked, do you mean when you have time? She said no, when she can. What does this mean? I don't understand "when I can". She is still blaming me for everything but she seems confused.

This is part of the script. And in short, she is confused. She feels that she can not be with you, but a d is still a conflict in her heart for many reasons. this is why there is a DB rule that you believe nothing said and only 50% done.

Anyway,
Yesterday was the fourth and I figured I would be spending the day alone. She called and asked if I wanted to take the kids to get fireworks. Of course I jumped at the opportunity. She also invited me to her brother's for a cook out and to do the fireworks I had bought for the kids. Again I was totally up for it.

You mentioned you were ready for a d, and here you jump at being a family. Can you see how you may be coming off as confused?
Have you read DR? Maybe a DB coach can help you. You could use someone in your corner so that you can build a firm foundation.

During the cookout she completely ignored me and seemed agitated that I was there. She invited me! What the hell is going on here? We ate and shot off the fireworks. I then went home feeling more confused than ever.

You should stay off of her roller coaster. You need to have a direction.
How is AA going?
How is your GAL going?
I know that you probably have been engaged in your fathers situation and many of these things may have taken a back seat, but you will need to keep at them if even in a toned down manner, so that you can stay the course.

Keep us posted and others will share thoughts and guidance as you are still in an unstable place and have a long ways to go.


Be well my friend. I am here to support you.