Newby here, desperate for some advice

[Coconut]

JRuss, you have gotten an incredible amount of responses in one day, its a lot of info. Go back and read, there's no way to grasp it all so fast, and your question above you skipped the most important first st, Give Your W Space. Don't ask her anything, not about the trip or anything else. At this point, just focus on you and your kids. If you don't want her to move out, you need to live your life like she already has, pretend she's a new roommate that you don't know. It will do a lot for you to leave her alone.

Now go back and read, and try to really grasp what everyone has told you.