My fear really stems from missing that 50% of the time with my kids. I know well meaning people have said that 50% that's really great and focused can be better than 100% where the parents aren't happy, and I guess I can see it on one level, but it's the little things, like watching my daughter give her mother a hug, or the three of them singing silly songs -- I just really am scared about losing the times where all four of us are together. Those moments, hearing about the little things, like the little one has a splinter and watching how he psyches himself up not to be scared of the tweezers.
I hate the 50% thing. That's the worst part of it for me and the boys don't like it either. Separation and divorce is terrible for children; they're truly innocent victims. But, I'm unwilling to live in an open marriage; I think my sons understand that.
If I could have 100% custody, I'd take it in a heartbeat.
