Early Midlife Crisis?

[HopeRB]

Hello. I've been posting for a some time now over in Newcomers and have stopped posting as frequently for whatever reason..not really sure why. But all the while, feeling like my H is having an early midlife crisis.

We're in our early 30s and his words and actions exhibit that of a man living in midlife crisis. Of course, I know that label is merely another way of stating the obvious and why we're all here but, it does provide some context to me. So my question, is there a such thing as an early midlife crisis? I feel like H was suffering from severe FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) b/c he even mentioned that right before he left. And now he says he's just as unhappy living in the "far country" as he was in our M.

Either way, I'm moving on but not giving up because his back and forth and confusion are killing me. I'm not perfect and I've been prayerful and hopeful and fighting being double-minded the entire time. It's all so hard, I get hopeful and then discouraged. I don't want to give up on my husband and our marriage. I just don't know what to do or not do anymore so my only option is to move on I guess. He needs a shock to his system and me speaking to him ain't gonna do it.

I had a major breakdown yesterday and just feel completely embarrassed about it bc I usually keep it to myself so I don't have to deal with anyone's negativity or scolding about it. But holidays and weekends, nights, mornings, they're all still hard...12 months later.

And thats the other thing that makes me think I just need to move on...it's been 12 months. DB coach says thats not long in the grand scheme of things but I just wonder when will he come around and allow himself to soften towards me...consistently? He's always nice and all that when we spend time together but then, he disappears into thin air. I know God is working on him it's just hard. I'm so conflicted but something keeps telling me to not give up.