Newby here, desperate for some advice

[JRuss]

Cadet -- thank you for your post. I will stay in the MBR and just keep gripping the sides if need be. I'm going to try to really drill down on the Detachment article you linked earlier.

doodler-- a little bleak (couldn't help but notice it was your 666th post and got a flashback to the Book of Revelations), but a needed kick in the pants. I do get sick to death of myself and all of the bowing and scraping and pleading I've done. It hasn't helped, it's actually hurt, and it makes me feel badly about myself. Now to figure out how to stop being the doormat.

EDF -- thank you for your really long post, inspirational quotes and practical advice. I'm going to read and re-read it and try to soak it all up.

To all three of you, it means a great deal to know that complete strangers would take their precious time to try to help me.