Stages of grief

[Painter]

Well... I'm trying to find my way back to Happiness but Anger led me astray.

I sent an e-mail to H yesterday where I was less than nice (not horrible, just very straightforward about how I feel) as a reply to his reply to a request I had. I thought we had agreed on a change to the sep agreement and spent time writing it up properly, but it turned out he was just trying to cut alimony by 1/3 - so I got a little annoyed that he wasted my time and also claims to be soooo poor but has decided that OW should not have to work but stay home to cater for him.

So I told him how it seems to me that he puts OW's wellbeing ahead of his wife's, when she has done nothing but cause pain and destruction to the family.

The problem is that what you throw at someone, sticks to your hand... so while he probably just brushes me off and compartmentalizes what I wrote, I still feel the anger. I'll have to deal with anger regardless, as a phase in the emotional processing of this, but I want to work to get back to a place of peace and happiness, where his actions - past or present - don't impact how I feel, at least as far as I am able to control it.

Apart from that I can hardly stay awake. I've slept enough hours but need to either have coffee or go back to bed. Too tired to decide...