My third post - please be nice

[collin]

I'm not doing well. I don't know what it was about the long weekend but I just felt like it all came crashing down. I showed up at her place yesterday morning in pieces. I was a wreck. I poured out my heart to her and told her how I felt. I asked her to come home. But she said she's not ready to. I get it, I wasn't really expecting her to. But, then it hit me and she denied it, but she's scared of being hurt. Her first husband hurt her and then I hurt her, so now I've got to figure out how to lower the wall around her heart.

Last night she wanted ice cream so I brought her ice cream and we watched tv, she laid on my chest and I wanted to just stay there forever.

I need to figure out how I should maneuver this. I need to show her I'm strong (which obviously me showing up at her place a blubbering mess didn't accomplish) but I love her and want her to know it. She always says I don't love her, I'm in love with the idea. I know that's part of her fear. She's deflecting. But I don't know how to prove to her she's wrong.