Being there to help v going dark:balance

[Surfer]

Betterm,

Thanks for this. Really insightful stuff. Limerence is very interesting. Some reading ahead over the next few days I think...

I guess resentment comes with the 'feeling' ("I feel hurt" - by you, the focus of my blame because how can I blame myself for my own hurt, someone else needs to be the bad guy).

Then comes disrespect because you are doing all the wrong things and have no b@alls.

Then rebellion - why do I want to do what you want when I disrespect you. The rebellion will be a stuck record perhaps or is it fix (the payoff being partying etc, being validated for rebelling with the OM or even by friends etc)? I am not sure. Perhaps the rebellious 'buzz' a WW feels is a big part of the story? It could explain why, when the WW is being wayward - she is happy (that might be because she is being 'wayward with an OM or just being wayward' - Sandi's point). In between when she crashes is it because the 'high' is not there and only being wayward ('rebel character traits') provides this drug?

I was also thinking about how, if you disrespected someone in the past, they got (or could get) your respect back. That is about authority, boundary setting and reinforcement, being interesting and being interested (perhaps). AKA boundaries, GAL & creating intrigue, listening/validating - the final ingredient is on the final line of your signature - I might loose her totally (but I am quite happy with that as the 'the rebel character' is a total **** and unless she leaves my wife's body - my wife is not coming back into my life)....

Don't know. I am only starting to understand all this. Just thoughts.