Feeling lost 2

[srt]

Not been on for a while and thought things were slowly improving, however recent events don't seem to indicate this.

W has said at counselling that she misses me, wishes things could be like they used to be, and does not like the current circumstances. She knows current sitch is not working, yet continues to fiercely oppose any increase in contact I can get with S&D. She has openly said that she has tried everything and now thinks the only thing left to do is for us all to move back together. I have simply said that will only work if she wants to and is committed to working on our relationship.

She also seems to spend most of MC moaning about her mother, yet still failing to take on board or do anything about it, despite suggestions of counsellor.

We were meant to meet to discuss things together outside MC (I think this is counsellor trying to kick start some form of "dating") but W has done nothing about this. We were clear in MC that since she was the one who had left, has to be the one to make the 1st move. I've been holding her to this - when checking if she still wants to meet she is non-committal and vague, wanting me to say when and where we meet. She is also reflecting this back to me, accusing me of being vague since I said I can meet anytime, just let me know!! I feel this meeting would be a waste of my time, since if she wanted to meet I wouldn't have to ask - she would be shouting!!!

She is currently in the huff, and says she no longer wants to go to MC since she comes out confused and feels crap about herself. She wants me to cancel the next session but I'm not going to. I'm going to go to the next session anyway, on my own if needs be, to discuss what we do next.

I don't know what I can do other than continue to DB and see what happens. W is resistant to making ANY changes, and becoming more dependant than ever on her M&F. I do sometimes worry that they are poisoning her against me but know there is nothing I can do about that.

W has said she thought leaving would make her happy but it has not. She says she has no money, does not go out, and complains she doesn't get to be part of my life. She is also very concerned with what people think about her and rumours in the town we live. I've been leaving her to figure out that this is what it will be like to be divorced, seems she has noticed but it hasn't twigged yet.

I KNOW there is still a spark there (and this makes it even harder for me, especially when trying to keep detached) since small "moments" keep happening, and she freely admits this in counselling. However she is very resistant to coming forward and talking or making any changes to our circumstances. What is she scared of?

I really don't know what to do, to me it seems like she wants to be "rescued" yet I know things will not work unless she addresses her issues and her mother's controlling influence on her. She says she feels she has not done anything since age 13 that gets her mothers approval - classic root cause of crisis??

I think she is still in MLC, and obviously very confused, the anger and bile I've had to put up with today are getting me down. It also saddens me to think the children are being dragged through this.

Any advice, comments or support very welcome - I do feel very lonely standing.