3 Months since she said i dont love you (3)

[Natus]

After thinking about it for 24hrs i feel that i dont want her there either.

Tomorrow is Eid here in Brunei, annual ritual to visit all our family members. It just hit me and i feel like im having a panick attack. How am i suppose to go house to house of both my and her relatives and pretend we are a happy family unit. She wants to leave me and has no desire to work for the M.

I want to tell her to go alone. To go do her half and ill go do my half of the family. Of all days i sent my car to workshop today. We are even suppose to go on a road trip together this weekend.

I have to come to terms that she doesnt want me as her husband.

Dont trust anything she says and only 50% of what she does. Well she talks about leaving and having no feelings for me. She makes family plans with me, asks me to accompany her to appointments and stuff, shopping and dinning together.

Gah! trying to understand where my sich is seriously making me want to murder someone right now.