As for moving back and forth from this is what I want, then going to I don't want this... Remember, these are feelings and they change, so don't act immediately, give it time... I would sometimes would go to the place of not wanting this for a week at a time, the path forward is not a straight line. When your feeling that way, it may be a good time to take a few days and just live in the now (again let her know).
As for the physical touch, if you feel like your always initiating, two things may happen. one is that you worry your smothering her, and second you may resent her for not initiating. Physical touch is my love language, and I felt both of those things. I brought it up in one of our scheduled R talks, I told her it would make me feel wonderful If she would initiate PT at times, and also tell me "too much" when I would overdue it.. She started initiating and hasn't said too much yet.
M - 9 1/2 years 5/5/16 - Bomb drop - 3 week EA 10/31/16 - We sold house 01/10/18 - D Finalized
