My wife walked out 3

[RSG]

You guys are right. I realized that. Then this happened:

I was at my neighbor's, who invited me over for burgers and beer. It was fun. I come back to check my phone, WW has Facetimed 3 times and called once. I FT, and she tells me she's been throwing up all afternoon and has nothing in her tummy again. Her head is pounding and she's a wreck. She's about to hangup, and asks if I love her anymore. I just stare, and ask her if she loves me anymore. She says no, and then I say what does it matter what I say anymore. She thinks I'm doing better as friends. Then, not 5 minutes later, she says she's going to the clinic tomorrow in addition to starting therapy and telling me because she has nobody else who cares. The only other person would be her Dad, who's 3 hours away in Huntsville and indispensable as he takes care of her Mom 24/7.

She says she got red highlights in her hair, but I didn't see this AM nor on the phone. She knows I loathe that stuff. Seems like rebellion. She starts bawling, talking about how sick she feels. Stomach in awful shape, constant headaches, sleeps all the time but always tired. Asks if there's such thing as a summer flu. I don't think she did anything today but the gym and see S and I at the park. Well, and lay in bed. She calls herself an F-up and cries.

I didn't remember this stuff all in order, but it's everything that was said. Coconut, you're right. Rock bottom. Her health is in the crapper, and it's affecting her mind. She may not love me. I have no way of knowing what's really in there. But, S deserves a mother that's in her right mind and healthy. My marriage seems secondary right now. I told her to please let me know how therapy and clinic goes, because S deserves it. I know she's not happy, she's not healthy, S needs his mama bear back and I don't know where she went. (I called her that at the height of our marriage, when we were in love and she was Super Mom.)

I'm so stressed. I was hurt when she said she didn't love me, and the friends crap made me angry. But, she seemed drunk as her words were slurred; however, she's been on steroids for an allergic reaction, and dehydration causes similar reactions. I have to be strong for her and try to be sympathetic, for my S's sake. Even though I know her mind is screwed up, it's hard to ignore when someone says they don't love you anymore.

She's sick, mentally and physically. She needs to talk to someone neutral, and I applaud therapy. She needs to see a Doctor, not a clinician. This has gotten so much more difficult than I ever thought it would get. I thought I'd have to forgive her lies. I thought I'd have to forgive walking out. An affair. And now possible substance abuse which could be linked to actual sickness and mental breakdowns. I'm doing this all for my S. And damn my weak heart, I still love the woman I just don't think I can tell her anytime soon.

I'm very interested in what happens tomorrow with therapy, and her physical diagnosis. S literally worships his mother. He needs us both, together, more than anything but I'll accept both of us in sane mind and body. I'm struggling, but getting through as best I can.

What a day!!!