its starting to hit me.....the lies....picturing her and him kissing.....the strait faced lies.....her leading me on......her cheating on me again......again. i saw the red flags, but i ignored them, walked past them.
i can honestly say, that i did everything i could to have saved this marriage. there is no blood on my hands, no matter how hard she tries to pin anything on me.
its been several hours of NC. and i expect many many many more. i dont know what direction im going. divorce or waiting it out. if i wait it out. i am NOT accepting anything less than 100% . but at this point it doesnt really matter. i am pumped full of emotion and booze. and i am not capable of making a sound decision for a loooonnnnggg time.
