Okay. No, I don't see it as an act of selfishness. I do suggest you contact your lawyer, ASAP, and see if this information could impact the court's decision in alimony, child custody, etc. And, your lawyer can advise about keeping this information under wraps or not. However, with D14 knowing, I doubt that's going to happen.
The lawyer can direct you, legally. Ethically, I believe you have to make the decision.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
