Set your relationship priorities. What is your main goal? Does this new information change your main goal? If so, then what is the new goal?

What do you want to accomplish by exposing this evidence to your in-laws? Most LBH'S think their in-laws will influence the WW to end her affair. What if she ends the A, but still refuses to work on the M? What if exposure doesn't "work", or she finds a new OM? What are your plans after exposure?

It seems more mistakes are made when a desperate spouse is grasping at straws, trying this & that......but has no plan. You need to know what you want to accomplish by doing any type of action.

Whatever you decide, I think it's high time she (and your children) sees your b@lls firmly attached.......which, IMO, means you would start taking charge, instead of hoping someone else can do something effectively, while you sit and wait. Your D14 certainly needs a stable parent in charge at this time in her life.

Is this latest information a deal breaker for you?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!