Welcome back! It was wonderful to meet you...folks she is as KEWL in person as she is on the boards!
Last night XH pages me: I’m so sorry for putting u through any pain. I’m going to seek counseling for my whole being.
I told him that I'm sorry for the hurt I've caused him and I hope he can find true happiness. That I'm here if he needs anything.
We page a little bit back and forth. He tells me I'm a great kisser.
This morning we talk for about an hour. He says that he understands where I am coming from about not "sharing". He says it is too much of a commitment for him that he is not a good person and it is not good for anyone that he be in a R with them.
He said he is a R destroyer. He says he destroyed our R. I asked if he thought he had the skills to build a R and he said no.
He says he cares too much for me to try to get close.
It wasnt that he was handing me a line, he is truly hurting. He doesnt trust himself, doesn't like himself and cannot give anything.
I think he is thinking about loosing me (WILEY need to keep this going, suggestions?) He made a comment to the effect that if I went on one date I would be done with him. It was like if I dated, I would realize the difference and move on.
I told him how in the past that the door was open and I was standing on the other side waving him in. Now the door is open but he will have to come through the door to find me.
I pray that he does get help, he is not a happy camper at all. And I pray it is with someone good who understands men's depression.
My new goals in this new phase Total detachment Only contact him when he contacts me Focus on ME Get on with my life, drop the rope
OK, so maybe these aren't new goals... I think I've heard them somewhere....
need to keep this going, suggestions?) He made a comment to the effect that if I went on one date I would be done with him. It was like if I dated, I would realize the difference and move on. 
