Pathway Change

[Coconut]

We don't have R talks too often now, once or maybe twice a week at most. What I suggest is to make sure you two discuss "ground rules", some things I find useful are:
- set at least one day, time a week for a set discussion, limit to about 1 hour
- do not have R discussions on days that you plan fun days (make sure W knows it's a safe day)
- agree that when either of you get upset or angry you'll take a break
- if something small is bothering you, and you need to let it out, discuss only that thing, don't wander to other issues you think of.
- when something bothers you, try and figure out big picture issue, don't complain about every little thing that bothers you. I.E., if she doesn't let you know where she is, don't complain about that one time, instead let her know that while rebuilding trust it helps you to know where she is, and you would appreciate her giving you updates so you don't constantly wonder or have to ask.

When you just need time to process things and rest your brain, let her know. Tell her you'd like to take a day, weekend, week, whatever, to just live in the moment, to try and be natural with each other, chatting, laughing, whatever just happens when spending time with each other. I find it helpful to put a time frame and make her aware.