Detachment, anxiety and the end of limbo 2

[Phoebe]

Well, I know for certain that I am not in any position to be in a relationship. I have no doubt about that. I do need friends, and, for good or bad, I have always clicked better with men than women. My first best friend before I even started school was a boy, as was my second, and then again in high school there were more male close friends. I have worked on that and definitely enjoy and can be friends with woman, but it is just a little bit more complicated for me. I'm not sure I understand it, and it's probably something I need to talk about with my T.

I was definitely feeling anger toward my WH last night after talking with my L-biking friend about him, and that makes me vulnerable. Anger is way too closely tied to tears for me. Typically if anything makes me very angry, I burst into tears, which frustrates the heck out of me. Anyway, I was feeling anger toward WH, got a hug from L-biker, which reminded me again that I miss being hugged. I made it to my car and then commenced to cry the whole way home.

I slept poorly last night, too. Not really surprising.

So... today is a day I'll be spending with my Mom canning peaches, so I'd better get moving. We bought two cases of tree-ripened peaches and they are ready when they are ready, which is today, and not a single one will go to waste. We probably have about 50 pounds of them to deal with. They are so incredibly good, though, and I love seeing them in my pantry in the cold winter months.

Thank you for checking in on me, Sotto, and for your advice. I did look up entanglements, and I'll have to do more reading because I found conflicting viewpoints out there.

More later! I hope that everyone has a wonderful weekend.