I disagree. It is not understandable that husband wants to leave marriage after 22 years and 4 kids to find someone that is more sexually compatible. Now if he does, that is out of your control and completely on him. Don't accept that blame and guilt. Just work on what you can now. He communicated his needs, and you are doing your best to fulfill them. That says a lot about you and your commitment to your partner. I am sure there were needs of yours that were never being met, none of which you would leave a marriage for!
My husband left and said he wanted someone more like his mom..who is domestic superwoman and cited my lack of doing his laundry as a big reason. (Meanwhile he once told me to never do his laundry because I shrunk clothing) Before he left, I was doing best to run all his errands and domestic needs. But looking back, it could never be good enough because he was looking for something to justify a selfish action he wanted to take. So yes, his needs of service were not being met, but my needs were not either and I remained loyal.
I truly hope he looks at the bigger picture, which is a faithful and committed wife and companion. That desire from someone which he is seeking is temporary and unsustainable and will never compare to family and committment. And so illogical. What if he finds someone that desires him 24/7 and she ends up with endometrial cancer? Will he just leave her, since she won't be able to desire him the way he needs to?
I hope he realizes this. I hate seeing you take the blame.
