Zeus, I understand what you are saying, and I (now) agree.

We have two issues now. H does not trust that the change will last, and H wants a wife for whom sex is also a necessity.

I have done a complete 180 in terms of behavior and mental attitude about sex, but I haven't found a way to get my desire to that level short of the fear of losing him, and even that didn't last.

Hopefully, over time, H will see the change is lasting and will decide he can be happy with that.

Me: 44
H: 44
Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10
Together/Married: 22 years
H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16
H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16