Have you considered going for sex therapy on your own? Also have you read Michele's Sex starved marriage?
The point Zeus is making is found in Michele's SSM.
I was in a SSM for many years. After reading Michele's SSM, I finally got what the x had been trying to tell me for years.
I have read Michele's SSM. That was what lead me to DR and the boards. And I agree, I finally got it.
I wish I hadn't been so deaf to what H was saying for years.
The thought of losing H, combined with reuniting after a non-marriage-related separation, jolted my libido to a level I hadn't seen before. That faded about a month ago, and I've returned to needing lubrication and not always orgasming.
My behavior is still placing sex in the Critical/Necessary category. We have sex more days than we don't. I initiate. I am responsive when he initiates. I touch and flirt and admire during the day.
But H has noticed the change in physical symptoms.
And he worries it's the first step in a return to the old marriage where I had sex mostly because I thought I had to.
It's going to take time for me to show him the change is real. And I fear that even if he sees that it is, he'll decide he needs someone whose desire is as strong as his, and that the part I can control is not enough.
I hadn't thought of doing sex therapy alone. The counsellors I've looked into around here only talk about treating couples, but I'm going to take another look.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
