No, it's not obnoxious or retaliatory. It's called being real here. I know a number of people that have them and they love them. Why? Because they can take care of their "itch" whenever they want w/o rubbing up against a door frame or asking someone to help them out. Your h just might be very appreciative that you thought of him.
Even though you crave intimacy, he may not. From what you posted, it sounds like he's looking for ways to break you. Your description of the situation and him sounds very much like a person w/some NP traits, if so, there's no winning/pleasing w/them. The more you try, the more they add to the checklist of our failures and the more they point them out.
Are you in a support group or seeing an IC? You need to have someone you can talk to, especially if he gets angry and destroys things in the home or takes his anger out on you. Please take care of yourself and your children. That is what is important here.
You posted that you thought he was in MLC...what makes you think that? You've also mentioned that you think he might have NPD? Besides the info that you have provided what other clues do you have? Many people who are experiencing a MLC exhibit traits of some sort of personality disorder, but that doesn't mean that they are definitely NPD, borderline, etc. Depression makes they act out in various ways. MLCers feel entitled, they are selfish and self absorbed and are looking for someone to admire them and stroke their ego, i.e., somewhat like a person w/NPD.
I posted a response on your thread in Newcomer's. It would be helpful if you could share more of what his behaviors are, did he exhibit them throughout the marriage or did something transpire in the last 12-24 months that could have triggered a crisis. This info would help us give you the proper support that you require now.
