Hi Focus, This isn't the first time you've had a key in the lock so for your own peace of mind change the locks. As for the event, what do you feel deep down? Can you carry off a devil may care attitude in front of H? If not maybe it is better not to go. I don't know what other vets would suggest. I understand how you feel, I still expect to bump into W every time I go to the bars we used to visit, it isn't a nice feeling. We're on a similar timeline and I think you are making amazing progress despite the difficulties you've faced. Stay strong.
Thank you so much.
I've been catching up on your sich. I'm so sorry I have no advice, or words of wisdom. My heart breaks that so many people are in a similar situation and that you are here too.
We all start off thinking that are situations are individual to us. And there are many details that are individual to us, for sure. But the similarities between all the various situations, the similarities in what our spouses do and say, the similarities in how we react and go though this whole process...they're the things that I'm shocked at.
I feel nothing but a tremendous amount of sadness at the moment.
I'm managing to sleep better than ever now, I'm starting to get open top of my own work again, to make some little plans for the future, to keep GAL ticking over, to be open to other people and genuinely appreciative of what they offer (conversation, friendship, warmth and humanity), and other people also seem to be open to and appreciative of what I offer back.
I don't feel like I've lost anything of myself during this whole process (so far, anyway). I feel like I'm more myself than I can remember being for a long time, and I'm quite enjoying that feeling.
But I feel like I've crossed over some invisible divide that I didn't even know existed. And I feel like I'm operating in some parallel existence to a lot of other people. People that I knew from before seem to have become strangers in the course of a few months. There seems to be a huge gulf between us now. And I seem to have developed an almost intuitive affinity with those (sometime almost strangers) that have been through similar, very profound, life changing traumas and losses.
A couple more things have happened in the past few weeks, but I'll stop here for now.
