Still dealing with this horrible situation. This is the first time I've deviated from my own GAL and personal plans, to accommodate my W's needs. She's still grieving the loss of the cat, and having a hard time dealing with the fact that our dogs are responsible for it. Since we've been together, we've always visited her family (about 2 hours away) for a big July 4th party. She originally said she didn't want to go because she just wasn't in the mood to "socialize" or anything like that. Also said she didn't want to deal with all the "hey, where's <my name>?", "how's <my name>?"
I can understand that, but I talked to her earlier and she was in really bad shape, didn't want to be at her parents because that's where it happened. Didn't want to come home because she didn't want to see the dogs responsible. And our dogs can't be alone for the night with all the fireworks going off, cuz they'll freak out and I'll come home to urine and poo everywhere. I suggested I would cancel my plans to go to the lake, and she can go to the party at her family's for the night so she can get out of the atmosphere that's driving her crazy right now.
So, I'm home alone with the dogs tonight, supposed to be partying at the lake with a bunch of new faces, but I'm okay with it. I know my W is grieving, and I really feel for her during this time. She texted me and said she appreciated everything I'm doing, and that she'd be back tomorrow to watch the dogs if I wanted to at least go spend SUN-MON at the lake, I told her I'd think about it...
I finished it up with a text stating I know W has a lot of friends/family up there, but if she needs to "get away" and/or talk to "someone else", I'm here for her. And I truly just feel that way. As much as I've removed myself from fixing the M, or reconciling, I love her and just want to be here for a support outlet if she needs it. Pursuing or not, doesn't really matter to me, because my communications to her have been all over the damn place lately, from "where's my money, B?" to "should we schedule our remarriage date?" to "I'm gonna shove my D in your M the next time you open it"... yeah, I know. and for all the newbies out there, this is not "proper DB'ing". But if you know my story/history, you might (somewhat) understand. HAHA.
On maybe a stranger note, The single mom down the street randomly stopped by to talk when I was in the garage, it was strange, but she mentioned that she realized my W's been gone a lot lately. I felt kinda unconfortable talking about it... this is the woman that my W has always had jealous behavior towards... She said "Maybe we'll meet later if you're still around the neighborhood"... I was like, uhhh okay....
Anywho... I'll be here, invited a few friends, and brother, over, but most had plans already as it's big night for july 4th parties... probably no one coming over, but Ill be here, drinking some good beers, chillin with the doggies, and hopping on and offline the forums... and cautiously hoping that neighbor doesn't come back over here. That kinda scared me. haha. Hope everyone is having a good Independence Day weekend! boom boom boom, go blow some stuff up!
